A woman I work with gave me some really good advice today. She said: (and this is totally paraphrased)

When someone says something or does something, we have a choice. We can react the way they perhaps expect us to, or the most obvious way, and the way we perhaps have every right to react.

Or we can challenge ourselves to react the best way, to defy the expectations they may have and to be stronger, or kinder, or smarter, than our first reaction. We can buy into a situation or we can try to rise above it.

So often we think about whether we have the right to be offended, or hurt, by something, whether we are right to be angry and whether our reaction is justified. Maybe instead of asking whether we are right, or justified, we should be asking whether our reaction is the best one, whether we can produce something better from within ourselves and be stronger than that initial impetus.

Not always easy, but I think it is good advice.

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2 Responses to Advice

  1. Rogue Hound says:

    Great advice and wisdom that works well in the classroom for teachers too.

  2. Also I find that when someone is obviously trying to pick a fight, by being mean or horrid or just snarky, then actually being super polite and pretending not to notice what a douche they are, in the face of all evidence SOMETIMES REALLY UPSETS THEM.

    There’s really nothing as sweet as moral high ground when those around you are losing their shit.

    (of course it only works if they haven’t actually made you feel hurt or upset, which is the tricky part)

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