A woman I work with gave me some really good advice today. She said: (and this is totally paraphrased)
When someone says something or does something, we have a choice. We can react the way they perhaps expect us to, or the most obvious way, and the way we perhaps have every right to react.
Or we can challenge ourselves to react the best way, to defy the expectations they may have and to be stronger, or kinder, or smarter, than our first reaction. We can buy into a situation or we can try to rise above it.
So often we think about whether we have the right to be offended, or hurt, by something, whether we are right to be angry and whether our reaction is justified. Maybe instead of asking whether we are right, or justified, we should be asking whether our reaction is the best one, whether we can produce something better from within ourselves and be stronger than that initial impetus.
Not always easy, but I think it is good advice.